Shit I should have an answer but all I can think about is categories of incompetent communication attempts, aka people that are effectively mute and can’t form sentences.
For example, you can figure out from context someone is pro republican, but they say “republicans have got rid of bureaucracy/regulation that holds back businesses” and mean it as a good thing, then get mad when you push back and more mad that they have to justify their statement.
Then there’s ass-pulls that lack any supporting logic (not evidence because human brain doesn’t require evidence to believe things) then they get mad when there’s push back. The example there is a random antivaxxers that decided that deaths from the covid vaccine was underreported by 20 times simple because “it’s common for things to being reported by that much”, then get furious when I multiply covid deaths by 20 and magically covid deaths are over reported
Just top of my head I recall a pre Covid conversation between me and some lady in my neighborhood who confidently told me the flu shot wasn’t even worth getting because it doesn’t protect you from the stomach flu…
Some woman walking her ancient beagle and smoking a cigarette I tell her how cute her dog is and I’m wearing a mask. She tells me it’s good I’m wearing a mask to “protect your respiratories” because… they were installing 5G in the area
I’m sure there’s so many more
Oh recently in a car the person driving takes an illegal left, against a red no less, to get on the highway. I tell him it was an asshole move and you don’t get to pick and choose which traffic laws apply to you or not. He then tells me because “no one tried to stop him” it was ok?? I was like what?? Like in your car, like they should have hit you with their car to stop you (reminder it was red so they needed to run a red light to hit him for the purpose of telling him not to run a red light) otherwise it was fine for you to do? And he deadass said “yes”
This is second hand from a friend, but he said he overheard a conversation between 2 coworkers:
Person A: looks like you got some sun this weekend
Person B (badly sunburned): Yeah, I just bought a convertible and did a lot of driving with the top down. I figured that the wind would stop me from getting sunburned, but I guess it wasn’t cold enough
Person B: That’s… not how that works
A team of American soldiers were wiped out by a huge red haired sasquash in the mountains of Afghanistan.
All the dumb that I hear just completely outstrips my memory capabilities.
That COVID was a plandemic so that states could send people into lockdown, during which they could install 5g. I asked who they were and only got ramblings in return.
That AI will make jobs.
“Can you find me an outlet that works”, during a building wide power outage. We have critical systems that run on UPS and wanted me to unplug something so their laptop battery didn’t die.
Don’t worry about a thing. Every little thing gonna be alright.
I want the big things to be alright as well!
I knew a girl that was convinced that ~90% of planes crash…
I had to ask her “do you really think they’d keep making them if almost all of them killed people?”
Who did she grow up to vote for?
Almost certainly Trump. I’ve lost contact with her and her husband, but the brief interaction I had with him a few years ago he mentioned communist Democrats so I have to guess they’re magoos.
I was certain that i was asking a rhetorical question — but not at all surprised to be literally correct…
united states is a democracy
A teacher in highschool put this up on the screen and told us to read it to ourselves,
“Aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”
Then some bright light in the back of the room asked if that was actually true after fully comprehending what was in front of them.
Trickle down economics.
You don’t get it though! If you just let the absolute greediest people in the world keep all their profit then they’ll definitely share with you!
I actually had a coworker say a few months ago that he’s a Regan Republican because he believed in trickle down economics… I literally said “really man? And how many more decades of being wrong do you need before you realize it still doesn’t work, is five decades enough?” To which he didn’t have a reply…
One time I was at a grocery store and they sold out of a particular drink I liked.
A manager was standing nearby and I asked when they would restock it.
“Never.” He said. “It always sells out and I don’t want to constantly order and restock it, so I’m not going to get more.”
That’s how Dylan Moran runs his bookstore in Black Books.
Paraquoting off the top of my head: “Customers?? Who wanted to buy something??? What the hell do you treat them nicely for?!” … “You don’t get it… paying customers means books get sold. Which means you have to restock them and deal with additional customers!”
Reminds me of the story of the warehouseman who refused to give someone the last of an item in the warehouse because that would mean they’d be out of stock.
Ah. There’s a reasons for that, as told to me by a supply sergeant in the military. A lot of suppliers had a BEL (Basic Equipment List), which says all stock must have a minimum and a maximum of XYZ in order to meet government spec. Some large items, like diesel generators, have a BEL minimum of 2, but also because of their size and storage complexity, have a maximum of 2. So it order to get a new one, you must get rid of one of the old ones. But if you get rid of the old one, you are below minimum BEL, and could fail inspection or an inventory check, if it takes a while to get a new one. Large items don’t always “hang around,” but they get manufactured on demand, so the only way to get a new one is to be without one for a very long period of time. Thus, you risk failing inspection. The best way to avoid that is to keep two and never order any.
Military logic.
On top of that, everything is ordered by article number. So it happened on a boat that they needed two replacement bolts for the engine. The engineer wrote the order, and the captain signed it and sent it to HQ.
They were informed the order would take (a long time). When they finally got the word that the order was in, they were astonished that two heavy load trucks were waiting for them. Each containing a turbine nearly as big as their boat. Which had nearly the same inventory number as the bolts. With two digits switched.
that’s just cheating the system to achieve some metric
seems like a funny joke tbh
Which would have been funny. They didn’t ever restock the drink, though.
Sounds like the shopkeeper was more interested in resting than infinite profits & money.
Nobody goes there. It’s too crowded
Once in Kindergarten I overheard two adults talking. They were concerned about kids drinking from the same cup because of … AIDS. That day I learned that even adults could be ignorant. I definitely knew that AIDS could only be transmitted through blood and specifically not through spit.
I didn’t know about the other way but after hearing about AIDS in the news my (I think) brother assured me that it couldn’t be transmitted through spit.
This is how everyone gets mono.
