Cures hiccups.

I know it sounds bullshit, but I haven’t had a long hiccup session (read: longer than ~4-5 hiccups) in more than a decade, possibly two: I chill the fuck out.

The instant it starts I take a deep breath, relax my esophagus/larynx/whatever, and put myself in the most Zen Buddha state of mind I can. I keep taking long, relaxed breaths. If another hiccup slips through I still remain a ketamine sloth, believing that it’s just the one or few passing hiccup.

Most of the time I don’t get a second (third) one. It’s over in a matter of a few seconds.

My brother keeps bringing up parking wardens and no matter how I’m trying to put myself in their (employer’s) shoes, I’m unable to convince him.