Chocolate
In the states, you have to watch for phrases like chocolatey or chocolate flavored. If you see those, it is 0% real chocolate. Even our minimum standard for actual real chocolate (I think 35% cocao) is a joke.
Same thing with “Cheese”
Cheesey, Chee-z, The Chees-iest, any variant of that and it’s not real cheese. Cheese is a regulated term. It’s not just qWiRkY marketing, it’s designed to distract you from the very fake product you’re consuming.
Same with cream vs creme
I signed up for the “ad free experience” on Amazon.
Picked a movie, popup says “this feature is not available ad free”. Cancelled
How is this legal? Oh yeah, Bezos was on the stage clapping with the other robber barons.
I gave up sailing the high seas during the golden age of streaming. Unfortunately it has already come to an end with the majority of streaming services including ads for their highest tier.
I have wasted so much of my life on watching commercials, I refuse to waste anymore.
- “Up to…” when used to describe things like internet speeds
- “Wholesome” when used to describe food. Not really a lie, per se, but “wholesome” has absolutely no meaning when it comes to nutrition and just sounds good
- “Zero calories” or 0 grams of [blank] in the nutrition information. The regulations let them round down if it’s less than 1
gramstandard unit of measurement for that item (edited from grams). - Any time you see “free” there’s always at least an implied asterisk
“Unlimited”
“Unlimited data” Limited down to 2G speeds… 😠
Does this look like a man who’s had all he can eat?
That could have been me!
“We respect your privacy”
We VALUE your privacy, by selling your info to our 2,569 partners.
A “family size” bag of Doritos is not sized for a family. Or I on my own count as a family.
“Military Grade” is not the flex that civilians think it is.
A “family size” bag of Doritos is not sized for a family. Or I on my own count as a family.
It’s enough for a family because the portion sizes are like 4 chips.
Military grade
This one is funny to me because the military commonly goes with the lowest bidder. So I take it to mean that “military grade” is absolute garbage made by the lowest bidder.
“full self-driving”
Indestructible or tough dog toys. My boy will have that in pieces, 15 minutes or less guaranteed
Get him a stick
When he break it. He now have 2 stick
When he have too many stick.
Go get new stick. It free.
I was in a PetsMart and I swear they had regular ass sticks that they found outside with $5 price tags on them. You could literally walk 10 steps out of their front doors and find the same thing for free.
My fucking big goofy dumball of a dog will continuously get sticks stuck in his mouth from trying to chew of them vertical instead of horizontal and its bad. He’ll walk up all happy and just drip blood on my lap with his mouth stuck open. One time we came inside and didn’t realize until like 30 minutes later that he had a big twig stuck in there, he was happy as can be .
I love that dog and he loves sticks
Indestructible toys are a catch 22, anyways. I found a couple of toys my old bud couldn’t destroy but he got bored of them very quickly. All of the satisfaction comes from the destruction.
We just started getting him soccer balls from 5 Below. Cheap enough and big enough to last a little longer.
Lifetime* Waranty
* For the life of the product
Not so much a lie but jumping on the bandwagon. A lot of traditional products that never had gluten in them to begin with now show “Gluten Free!” on the label, as if they did something good for you rather than simply redesigning a product label.
I feel like in that case it’s more like “We now double-check this food wasn’t made in the same area as foods with gluten”. Cross-contamination can be a pita for celiacs
Stainless steel. Because the common understanding of stainless is not what the stainless in stainless steel means.
Organic foods. Obviously this varies by location, but there are no universally standardized and enforced definitions of what it means to be organic that it comes close to being meaningless. You’d be surprised at what “organic” growers can get away with.
Genuine leather. It’s so misleading it’s pretty easy to argue that it’s essentially a lie.
20% off. When it’s the same cost as it was last month, you just upped the price, then put it on sale, so that in the end it evens out.
Labeling that says “Made with xxxxx” for example “Made with 100% all white chicken!” ‘WITH’ is the key word here. The item might be only 3% chicken and 97% other junk, but that 3% of chicken is 100% all white! This isnt just food items, could be cleaning supplies, or a lot of other things too. ‘Made of xxxx’ could be better, or ‘Made 100% with/of’….
No idea who downvoted you, some dude who refuses to believe that? I didn’t believe that until I met someone in the food industry and they were like “Oh yeah, that’s just to make you believe it’s real stuff”. Turns out, McDonald’s Patties with 100% Real Beef relies heavily on that with, who would have guessed. The rest is
sawdustfiller material, but hey at least some portion of it is 100% real beef.The one that gets me is the cat treats that list their flavors as “With Chicken.” Like, that’s the back half of the sentence, where’s the front half?
