I’m not on Reddit enough to recognize that as a common thing, but I was looking into something the other day, ended up on Reddit, took a peek at the front page, and right near the top was a dude punching a woman.

Anecdote of course, but what are the odds it’s not a regular occurrence?

Now when I was actually using Reddit on the regular I’d have mostly only ever stuck to my own subscriptions or whatever it was called. But now that I’m not a regular user and not logged in, it means all I ever see when I go over there is the “All” tab – which is presumably where the woman punching content is showing up.

I’m not a professional entomologist nor a lawyer, but I think you’ve given yourself trauma or you already had trauma and this has reopened some old wounds.

At the end of the day, this sort of stuff is sensationalized, as these types of things are all about making money and attaining some degree of fame for the people doing these “shows”. The crimes and perpetrators, while it seems as though there is a never ending supply of them, are actually statistical anomalies. There are 8+ billion people on Earth. Some number of those people have 6 fingers on their hands. If it were profitable enough and enough people were interested in the topic, you’d see thousands upon thousands of videos and shows about people with 6 fingers. By extension, after seeing enough of that content (you don’t even have to watch, just knowing it’s there is enough) your brain will actually start to think having 6 fingers on your hands is fairly common. You might even start paying a lot more attention to peopes’ hands, taking time to actually count their fingers just in case, or wondering how many 6 fingered people you’ve encountered over your lifetime without noticing. You might even convince yourself that you had a kid in your 2nd grade class who had 6 fingers or your hairdresser’s brother-in-law had six fingers.

I guess my point is, if this whole thing has gotten to the point where it’s actually affecting you in real life (ex: stopping going on dates), then it’s a problem. If you find that you can’t stop exposing yourself to this kind of content, I would advise you to seek professional help if you can.

Depends on what I want to accomplish when I can’t sleep.

If I don’t have to be up early the next day and/or don’t have anything terribly demanding the next day, I will embrace the insomnia to an extent. Play a game for a bit. Maybe go do some work on the computer. Empty the dishwasher. Just find useful things to do that will help make the next day(s) a bit lighter.

If I do have to get up, have a heavy day, or just would prefer to sleep, then I do fairly standard things. I’ll go grab something to read (sans a screen). I’ll find something relaxing to listen to (no videos, just audio). I’ll try various visualization / relaxation / counting techniques.

And if all else fails, I’ll just find some random movie to watch and sit/lay on the couch or in a recliner to veg out.

For me, not being able to sleep sucks, but lying down with my eyes closed and embracing my thoughts still leaves me feeling better the next day compared to getting up, moving around, etc.

I’m probably just really good at identifying bad online behavior with people who will never ever contribute anything of value to me or the platform. If all they’re ever going to do is bring negativity and bad vibes, it actually saves me time in the long run to filter them out so I can focus on the actual decent people.

For me, one of the great things about this general style of “News Aggregation” social media is that it’s community/topic focused rather than being focused on individual personalities/identities. So, in that respect, I really don’t notice or pay attention to the usernames, aside from blocking/filtering out all the crumby people that make this place a much worse experience for me. Out of sight, out of mind, so I couldn’t even tell you who those people are.

Going to be honest here: This all sounds like a strawman. It’s very easy to bash the rural folks in 5 mpg vehicles going to small town council meetings suggesting that solar panels waste the soil – because that scenario and those people do not exist (in large enough numbers to actually matter) and they certainly aren’t here to defend their views.

If we’re going to get into anecdotes, I’ll add mine: Rural areas all along the southeastern USA appear to be embracing solar farms from what I can tell in my travels. Even sticking to the main routes (interstates), massive solar farms are popping up all over. It’s certainly the case where I live.

From what I’m hearing (rural area majority conservative, lots of farmers, lots of MAGA), people of all political persuasions view getting these solar farms on their land almost like winning the lottery. It’s good stable income, minimal effort on their part. The roadblock in this area is that the infrastructure is not in place to support the number of people who want these farms on their property. You have to have “the right lines” already out in your neck of the woods for it to be feasible. Right now those places are limited and the utility company (run and regulated by urban folks, big money interests, etc) is not investing in the upgrades needed to support more.

Whenever I see a comment on social media that I think is wrong, I feel the need to correct it.

That’s not necessarily arguing, unless you’re continuing to engage repeatedly. This is really where you stop, if you even choose to engage at all. Have your say, make it count, move along.

If you genuinely care about a subject/topic/opinion, that first reply counts for 99% of your reach/impact. The second time you reply, it counts for 0.99%, the third time you reply, it’s like 0.099% ROI and so on.

After that first one, the juice is not worth the squeeze and the young folks are saying these days.

If your social media outlets of favor are anything like Lemmy, most of the people you see with edgy content or making edgy comments, they aren’t serious people. They aren’t here for serious discussion or open minds, even if it is a serious topic.

It’s easy to say, I realize, but you have to learn to let it go. Literally nobody cares. Probably even the person you’re “arguing” with doesn’t care, other than it gives them sexual pleasure to get attention from a rando online.

Also, don’t fall into the fallacy that the one who speaks last wins. If the person you’re debating is just serving up leftovers from the overly salty stale dinner with no substance that they prepared last night, it’s okay to leave the table. You literally are winning, no matter what, by not eating that same slop that you already know is bad.

Inevitably someone will disagree because someone is always right and someone is always wrong and the devil is in the details.

I only met the guy after he was released from prison. His violent act was murder, but he plead guilty to manslaughter so he got a shorter sentence and possibility of parole.

Anyway, before the incident, he was part of the friends group that I had more recently joined. So when he got out, he started hanging with us. From the very first time I met him, his behavior concerned me. I wrote it off thinking I was judging him unfairly or irrationally since I knew he’d murdered someone. It was like he was only pretending to be friendly, just enough to fool the people who knew him, but it was a thin veneer covering over unhinged emotions.

Problem was, initially the off putting behavior was all inconspicuous and easy enough to rationalize, so I held back saying anything to my other friends. They didn’t seem to notice, or if they did, they weren’t saying anything. So, it felt isolating.

In the end, that isolation was the opportunity this guy used to target me. Turns out his shtick (and psychopathic gift) was to manufacture drama between people and pit them against each other. He started with me, or at least it seems like he started with me – probably because I seemed like an easy target.

The first incident I remember is when someone’s favorite lighter went missing, we tore the house apart looking for it, and the murderer miraculously found it in my bedroom. I’d never even left the room until we started searching, so fortunately I was given the benefit of the doubt. But stupid shit like that kept happening, but only when he was around.

Where he really messed up is that he started pulling this same shit on others, and eventually enough of us did the math.

Strippers or bartenders.

I’m conflicted to call this the most terrifying thing I’ve experienced, just the first thing that comes to mind. And spooky just tends to be lame-ass fake ghost stories, but …

During a holiday break when I was in college, I was stalked by a bunch of guys who I’m pretty convinced were planning to harm me.

Campus was closed down for the holidays. I was stuck on campus. Aside from international students, almost nobody else was in the dorms. I decided to go for a walk and it turns out, so did one of my friends’ exes and some buddies of his who also stayed behind for the break.

As I was out walking, that dude and several other guys crested a hill ahead of me and started demanding I come talk to them. No polite language, just threats, slurs, and foul language. He’d dated my friend briefly, but during that time, found out I am gay. This was in the before times when LGBT+ folks were not widely accepted and this was considered to be acceptable behavior by large numbers of people.

I turned around and split off heading towards the campus cafeteria. Figured they wouldn’t follow me, but even if they did, I’d be heading towards safety. Well, they gave chase. Unbeknownst to me, the cafeteria was closed for the holidays. I was on my own. Too far away from my dorm to get to safety, and all the other buildings were locked up.

I ducked into the campus gardens and hid behind a bush. Those guys wandered around looking for me for quite a while, and then I stayed put for what felt like hours until I felt confident that they weren’t still lurking.

Learned my lesson, though, I guess. And at least I didn’t become a victim of violence.

I’d already heard of Mastodon and based on poking around there, I learned about Lemmy, so I explored it as a Reddit alternative. Initially, my early exposure to lemmy was mostly a curiosity thing.

Also during that time, my resentment and distaste for Reddit’s policies and general culture was building up. The place had changed so much over the years, just slowly enough that it took awhile to notice that it was no longer the same place it was when I first arrived.

I ended up coming to Lemmy in the months ahead of the Reddit API fiasco, but would still peek over there from time to time. Then post API fiasco, I just stopped even peeking.

In those days, Lemmy was a largely KIND place, so that really helped the transition. The culture here was different from Reddit, and seemed much more positive and supportive at that time, so that made it easier to look past the flaws. It was a regular occurrence to see folks call out users who were being abusive or overly abrasive in their replies, and folks would often talk out or joke about their differences. It was a nice, refreshing change of pace most of the time.

That’s almost all gone now or perhaps hidden on some private or unbeknownst to me server somewhere in the Fediverse. But for me, for now, I’m still here. I just had to adapt. Basically I mostly stopped reading replies to my comments and just block people I see being abusive to others, but this also means Lemmy is now a sad, dead echo of its not too distant past and more of an opportunity to fart into the winds of oblivion.