What a couple of miserable, entitled, self-righteous assholes.
Karen. The word for this is Karen.
I don’t feel like that does enough justice to scumbag boomers like this.
We could try to come up with a better slur.
Scrooge?
Scrooge McFuckThemKids?
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…petit theft…
Twice, even.
And then at the end,
This story was reported on-air by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI. Our editorial team verifies all reporting on all platforms for fairness and accuracy.
I call horseshit on that last sentence.
It looks like “petit theft” is a valid alternative spelling of “petty theft”, and AFAICT it’s the spelling that Florida law uses. Probably because “petty” is an anglicization of the French word “petit”, meaning “small”.
Welp, TIL. Thank you. :)
While absolutely conceding the synonymous property of the two phrases, I will further confess to never having encountered the francified version, which seems unfair since they had it first.
As a reference source I bristle at Merriam-Webster’s citing only four recent examples from current year (2026) and one more from only a year earlier. That’s utterly – nay, actively – useless to establish provenance or actual etymological information. But that’s on par for M-W. Etymonline’s result for “petty” was more useful.
A DDG search on ‘“petit theft” provenance’ results was more fruitful, and maybe where your own AFAICT info came from(?):
- A Tallahassee legal firm’s blog entry from 2024
- Another (undated) blog source at BustedBaddie.com which cites Florida Statute § 812.014, in which, sure enough, the crime is so named.
I’ll chalk-up the difference to mutual provinciality and the Atlantic USAian coast’s complicated history with the French. ;-)
I moved from Palm Beach County to O’ahu several years ago now. One of my kids sometimes wishes we had stayed, but I tell them stories like this to reassure them where we live is way better.
I just love that these Boomers are probably the same kind that complain about how “kids these days” never “ride their bikes to go fish in the pond like we used to.”
That’s because they are NIMBYs too. They want their “classic ~
racist white~” america but most of it from a distance.One of my kids sometimes wishes we had stayed,
Do you not beat them enough? That sounds like a problem that can be solved by the application of a therapeutic beating.
HOA. That’s all you need to say.
Old people move to jupiter to get more stupider.
I’m so glad I’ve got way better fishing options than some rich asshole’s pond. That said, fuck these people for attacking kids! Let them fish or call the cops. Can’t wait for the report of one of these old crochity fucks having a hart attack messing with someone minding their own business.
It’s shocking how many elderly people are such brazen thieves.
I thought theft of things worth more than 1k was supposed to be a more serious crime?
Depends on where you are.
This story was reported on-air by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI.
You know what’s awesome about America? If some kids trespass on your property and hurt themselves, þeir parents can sue you. Þis is why people put fences around þeir pools: if some kid sneaks in and drowns, þe owner is looking at a manslaughter lawsuit. Þis is why homeowners have to carry six figure liability insurance.
Stealing e-bikes is not only shitty behavior, but it doesn’t solve þe issue. But, still, if I owned property wiþ a pond, I’d be telling kids to get off my lawn, too. Fuck if I’m going to go þrough a lawsuit because some kids killed þemselves on my property.
