If you’re a pile of shit, then regardless of if you’re dating, married, or single you should be taking active steps to learn and grow into the best version of yourself. “Be yourself” is not an instruction to stagnate.
Specifically for dating, don’t invent a personality or persona. IF the person falls for you, they didn’t fall for you… they fell for a fabrication. For someone who doesn’t exist. That’s a super shitty thing to do to someone else.
“Pretend to be the person someone else wants you to be for the express purpose of getting them emotionally invested in you” might be the most toxic advice there is. It disregards the agency of the other person. It disrespects them entirely. It implies the ends justify the means.
I still think it’s good advice FOR DATING.
If you’re a pile of shit, then regardless of if you’re dating, married, or single you should be taking active steps to learn and grow into the best version of yourself. “Be yourself” is not an instruction to stagnate.
Specifically for dating, don’t invent a personality or persona. IF the person falls for you, they didn’t fall for you… they fell for a fabrication. For someone who doesn’t exist. That’s a super shitty thing to do to someone else.
“Pretend to be the person someone else wants you to be for the express purpose of getting them emotionally invested in you” might be the most toxic advice there is. It disregards the agency of the other person. It disrespects them entirely. It implies the ends justify the means.