Currently down about 120lbs after 8 years of going up and down. Net loss is 200lbs, given I had some regains over the years. Now, I’m down from 300lbs to 178lbs and ever since I passed 185lbs, I’ve had a lot more oppurtunities with women.
It feels weird, not gonna lie, it just sorta happened out of nowhere. A lot more women smile at me, talk to me, and look at me more. The attention I started getting just feels like a glimpse really. Not massive amounts, but noticably more. I’m still 10lbs away from being done entirely, as I do still look a bit husky at 178lbs.
Though, it’s not just women, but people in general have been treating me better, even strangers. I will finally reach normal weight for the first time ever in the next couple weeks (173lbs according to my BMI) and I can’t be more excited to finally see it!
For those who lost weight, what was it like for you? Did people start treating you differently?
Definitely. I started taking karate in 11th grade and went from almost 300lbs down to 200.
I became visible at that point. People noticed me and talked to me. When I went to college, girls were pursuing ME. It was all very new and strange to me, and I definitely missed some opportunities, just because I didn’t always understand when people were flirting with me. It just wasn’t anything I had experienced before.
I’m old and fat again, but I think being fit for a while taught me how to project “thin guy energy”. Fat is not just a state of body, it’s also a state of mind.
It was a huge headfuck and made me a little depressed, at first.
Yes, everyone treats me much differently. I get free stuff sometimes. It’s wild. And I’m still pretty weird-looking, just minus 90+ pounds, plus a bit of muscle and confidence.
Went from 130-100kgs(286-220lbs) over about a year so far, still trying to get lower, but it has slowed down. <_<
I personally haven’t noticed a different maybe I’m not observant enough.
Congratulations on the weight loss, hope you reach your goal and feel great about your awesome progress.
People treated me better for the first year then it was normal. My biggest was 286lbs (129 Kilograms.). I’ll never forget getting down to 168 and I felt like shit because of how little energy I had I feel a lot better at 189lbs-194lbs range but that’s because I eat better and I lift weights and exercise and I’m not trying to lose weight and I didn’t really use any weights going down but I did when I was trying to not feel sluggish from being too small.
That’s trippy to think, I had a group of friends in my early 20’s at my smallest and they were telling me to catch up but when I was an overweight teenager, I was being told to hurry up because I was big and therefore, slower.
Oh yes!
Currently down from 160 to 100kg (350 to 220lbs) and almost everyone is treating me differently. Many people didn’t make eye contact with me either on the street or in shops, some were visibly unconfortable (or slightly afraid). I had remarks all the time about how big (not fat, just imposing) I was.
Now cashers smile at me, people on the street are more friendly. It’s night and day and it saddens me in a way. I didn’t lose weight for appearence reason but for my health, and to see for the first time how people are (were towards me) judgmental is kinda sickening.
I just though people are sometimes a bit cold but never really associated it with my weight.
Welcome to pretty privilege, beautiful
Yes my friend the world is cruel and shallow, and your looks are a multiplier for all of your opportunities. Go forth and make people happy just by seeing you
People who have lost weight in this thread talk about how their own attitudes changed. Is that what spurned the change for them or a result of the effects? It’s probably both but it’s complicated. And very, very far from a simple framing like privilege.
What people
Cant tell about women as when i was at my height of around 100kg 175-177cm, overweight, no muscle. There weren’t that many women in my environment to accurately gauge any treatment. That was some time before covid.
During that time i lost ~25kg. Down to ~72-73kg and that was the time when thanks to covid client services jobs were starting to suffer and there was influx of women to my field.
No treatment difference from men up until that point.
But as i managed to implement a decent resistance training routine along with diet control over time i packed on muscle mass as well with fat loss.
By now I’m ~83kg, 15-17% bodyfat, clearly muscular even by regular gym goers standard.
That did eventually change treatment from guys.
They became more forgiving, friendly and maybe respectful. I have ADHD, so the amount of mistakes i make hasn’t changed, but if previously i was scolded for the same mistakes then now I’m rather easily forgiven and told “no worries, shit happens”. In addition any advice i say is heeded actually and people to come up to me more regularly to ask for help
Edit: forgot to add in my wife. While the overall treatment hasn’t changed as we have been together for around 14 years, so all body types, from skeleton(~60kg in early adulthood) to overweight to muscular. She is most definitely more attracted and “hornier” now when I’m muscular than other times in our life.
For those who lost weight, what was it like for you? Did people start treating you differently?
Yes, I immediately started noticing a change in people… as well as in myself (feeling more confident for the most stupid reason: the way people would look at me). Because the real trick is that it’s not just ‘them’ being weird, it’s us.
I had to reteach myself to behave like I used to but I kept on losing weight (not thin by anyone mean but not the obese dude I had been for so many years), because that was what I needed to do in order to preserve what remained of my health.
I had a bi friend become really sexually aggressive. And had to rush out of a bar in ft. Lauderdale cause I was kinda SA’d. It’s a mixed bag.
I’m sorry that happened to you. These things cropped up for me, too. It was like suddenly inhabiting a whole new world. Sometimes in good ways, but often not so much.
I’m not necessarily angry about the first one, the second one was pretty eye opening though, as far as being in a woman’s shoes type thing.
For me it did not change how people treat me, but how I treat myself. This than reflected how I interact with people and made them treat me better in return.
After going from ~145kg (320lbs)to ~82kg(181lbs) my confidence skyrocketed and I got very possitive and in the mindset of everything is possible if ypu work hard enough.
This mindset did not leave me even when I when back to ~118kg (260lbs) and I was still as popular as I was when I was ~ 82kg (181lbs).
After 1 year with ~118kg tho, the confidence started to waver as I did struggle to get back down and was mentaly in a break point anyways because, you can’t outrun the trauma and I had to address my eating dissorder (binge-eating) and undiagnosed neurodiversity.
Now with therapy I’m back back to ~98kg(216lbs) and I started loving and accepting myself again, I often get compliments from people saying, I look great and happy compared to one or two years ago. Not just from the weight but also the aura around me is quite more possitive.
Congratulations!
Did you use the new drugs to lose so much?Why does it matter?
Skinny people see being fat as a moral failure and thus losing weight through any means other than starving yourself and exercising 24/7 is unacceptable.
Meanwhile, most skinny people just eat until their full and aren’t hitting the gym, it’s just their default.
But, on the other hand, most fat people have lost and regained weight tons of times, so when they see someone losing weight without starving themselves and hitting the gym, they get jealous.
That’s the bit people don’t understand. Fat people on diets are starving and constantly uncomfortable. It’s a 24/7 attack on willpower (and it doesn’t magically go away when you hit goal weight). The weight will almost certainly come back, because willpower is a finite thing, and it’s more and more demoralizing each time.
Skinny people don’t have to think about it.
When fat people can lose weight without thinking about it, everyone else feels threatened.
It’s the same reason everything else sucks. Literally everything needs to be gatekept.
Why can’t education be cheaper, or loans forgiven? Because they had to suffer, and so do you.
How would it possibly be fair to somebody who died of cancer because they couldn’t afford care and then someone else just gets care for free? That’s not fair! They gotta pay!
Why can’t we have access to abortions? Because some other dude was responsible for an unexpected pregnancy and got stuck in a loveless marriage raising a bastard they didn’t want, and now you do too.
Nothing can be easier or improved as long as other people had to work hard.
Same shit, different story. “I did it so you have to have it as bad or worse”. It’s jealousy, all the way down. I blame the church.
There is something to this but I might have described it differently.
Being obese is seen as a moral failure, and struggling to lose it is a virtue. Drugs are seen as a cheat because you haven’t atoned for the moral failure by suffering, therefore you have not earned the right to be treated differently.
Curious and showing my interest to op’s story. But apparently this is interpreted negativily.
Same reason as the title, (in)validation.
Simply curiosity, no need to look for mean reasons.
