Few men have touched you.

• Samsung phones substitute a pre-taken professional picture when you try to capture our beauty

- Covered in dust
- Said to be a popular destination in the future, but that didn’t happen at all

• the dark side is actually just the side of me I don’t let anyone see (except previously-mentioned qualified folks)

Romanticised in the past by poets and writers but now demystified by scientists

Covered in pockmarks and devoid of life.

• If you get on your wrong side, you’ll end up as far away from the rest of humanity as anyone has ever been.

Made of cheese, so true