Feel like I’m alone in the world sometimes. I keep seeing ads and videos and things for wives whose husbands are emotionally unavailable or checked out or whatever. But I’m the husband and she is the checked out one or unavailable one. What is there for people like me or situations like mine? Is our situation so abnormal that no one cares? So atypical that there is no help for me or for us? Is anything out there targeted towards me and mine or am I just screwed? Am I alone in this shit?
I’m in a similar boat. I’ve been going to therapy for over 20 years. I’ve been with my wife for 13 years. She’s funny, creative, and widely beloved by almost everyone who meets her. At home, she’s emotionally hard to connect with. She’s never been to therapy and sees no reason to start because “nothing’s wrong with her.” She meets many of the stereotypes that we usually apply to men - can’t identify her emotions or claims she doesn’t have them, and doesn’t understand “why we have to talk about everything.” We’ve been to couples therapy a couple times and she generally hated it, saying the therapist made it seem like everything was her fault. I know I deserve a partner who will join me in processing hard stuff, but it’s been a very long road in trying to get there.