It usually takes a very particular kind of moment for others to even notice but I don’t lie ever and I’m completely unable to give short inaccurate answers that borderline on lying.
I’ve basically trained the people around me to not ask if they don’t want to hear the truth or conversely that I’m the one to ask when everyone else is just handing out comforting lies.
Same here. It’s a real barrier at work. Leadership doesn’t like facts.
That said, apparently ADHD causes some symptoms that most people consider autistic. A doc told me that when one of my kids who appears autistic was evaluated for it. But it’s all just labels anyway. The symptoms are what matter.
People in general dislike anything that might inconvenience them, the truth included. Effective communication lies in one’s ability to make them understand despite these emotional barriers (with techniques like the “compliment sandwich”, “I feel” statements or opening with some light jokes, for example). 👍
Yeah, but compliments require lieing in my head usually. Especially to the kind of people we don’t like the truth. I just avoid leadership. Communicate through my manager with them if needed. And avoid any management type positions.
Usually but not always. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. I understand though (maybe it’s my own neurodivergence, although I’m an ADHD enjoyer social butterfly), and in those cases I just say nothing and nod if needed, lol. For me, the truth is something I discuss with those ready for it, for adults I respect (in the absence of trauma, ofc, some things are better left unsaid if all they’re gonna do is cause pain), everyone else gets the kid’s gloves treatment, which I don’t mind providing since I’m somewhat paternalistic in nature.
I have a bit of a righteous tendency as well. It drives me to feel the need to point out when someone says something false. Which leadership types constantly do. Just a bad combo.
I feel ya. I have the absolute worst poker face, and I cannot bluff. My uncles all liked to get together and play poker over the holidays, but the one time I was invited it was a bloodbath.
It usually takes a very particular kind of moment for others to even notice but I don’t lie ever and I’m completely unable to give short inaccurate answers that borderline on lying.
I’ve basically trained the people around me to not ask if they don’t want to hear the truth or conversely that I’m the one to ask when everyone else is just handing out comforting lies.
I’m in a similar boat. Social deduction games make me very nervous.
… you realize you are almost certainly autistic, right?
I realize the stack of evidence supporting that possibility is quite high.
Same here. It’s a real barrier at work. Leadership doesn’t like facts. That said, apparently ADHD causes some symptoms that most people consider autistic. A doc told me that when one of my kids who appears autistic was evaluated for it. But it’s all just labels anyway. The symptoms are what matter.
A lot of the behaviors are similar, but their causes are not. This Dutch white paper explains this: https://www.anneliesspek.nl/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Whitepaper-ASS-en-of-ADHD_16-9-24.pdf
People in general dislike anything that might inconvenience them, the truth included. Effective communication lies in one’s ability to make them understand despite these emotional barriers (with techniques like the “compliment sandwich”, “I feel” statements or opening with some light jokes, for example). 👍
Yeah, but compliments require lieing in my head usually. Especially to the kind of people we don’t like the truth. I just avoid leadership. Communicate through my manager with them if needed. And avoid any management type positions.
Usually but not always. Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. I understand though (maybe it’s my own neurodivergence, although I’m an ADHD enjoyer social butterfly), and in those cases I just say nothing and nod if needed, lol. For me, the truth is something I discuss with those ready for it, for adults I respect (in the absence of trauma, ofc, some things are better left unsaid if all they’re gonna do is cause pain), everyone else gets the kid’s gloves treatment, which I don’t mind providing since I’m somewhat paternalistic in nature.
I have a bit of a righteous tendency as well. It drives me to feel the need to point out when someone says something false. Which leadership types constantly do. Just a bad combo.
Well, uh full irony of the bluntness intended here:
Takes one to know one.
You remind me of… me, just, with friends who aren’t assholes.
Blunt, yet detailed, as fair as you can be?
Giving a half answer feels like lying?
Lying itself is essentially innately not a thing you do, unless you learn how to, by studying it as a concept?
Ding ding ding.
I feel ya. I have the absolute worst poker face, and I cannot bluff. My uncles all liked to get together and play poker over the holidays, but the one time I was invited it was a bloodbath.
The work people haven’t figured this out yet.