I do think that they think it’s a compliment. I guess they don’t have any women in their lives to smack some sense into them.
The only time I ever seen a cat call work was when a cat made a noise at a woman.
I think the only time I cat-called women was when I was 10yo while playing football (soccer) in the neighborhood. The girls (~15yo I’d guess) looked back and I went red as a tomato in embarrassment.
Fast forward some years later, when I had long hairs, as I was arriving at school, someone horned at me and cat-called me. I turned around the the pair of idiots saw that I was a dude. They didn’t speed up and I felt that, were I smaller or had a more meek outlook, they would call me gay, sissy, etc, before moving on.
So, it feels like cat calling is a power play against the target.
I do wish people could be honest about what they think, but in a civilized manner. I wish I could just tell a girl or woman I find her pretty without coming off as a creep, weirdo or flirty.
Please don’t conflate catcalling with approaching people respectfully to open the door to dating. They’re very, very different situations.
You’re assuming they think at all.
lol
Somebody actually cat-calls women? Not just a stereotype from 80’s broadcasting?
If they do, I’d imagine it’s a role they think they have to play for their peers. Do they do that when they are alone?
Search up the 2014 short video 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman to give you some insight into how pervasive (and, unfortunately, timeless) this behavior is.
Tbh, they catcall teenage girls far, far more than they catcall women. And yes, it happens all the time when you’re young enough.
As a man I can’t say much, but I have never seen it done. There might be some geographical differences.
Or perhaps it’s because you aren’t the target for catcalling?
True, but in my 40+ years I’d expect to be a bystander at least once.
Not saying it doesn’t happen, just interested where.
Everywhere. It happens everywhere.
It’s very easy to miss what women go through on a regular basis when you’re a man tbh.
It’s very easy to miss what women go through on a regular basis when you’re a man tbh.
but ULTRA surprising and VERY ego inflating when it does happen, but probably only so if you’re a man. lol
Ew no. It’s demeaning and humiliating.
It’s the equivalent of juvenile chimps flinging shit. Some people never really got past that jungle phase.
A friend who gets catcalled often thinks it’s mostly men posturing for other men; they don’t usually do it when they’re alone.
As a woman, my experience says this is largely dependent on the culture. Go to Latin America and men cat call women even when they’re alone. Day, night, at work- doesn’t matter. If anything, I’ve never been catcalled in enclosed spaces such as public transport or elevators, but I’ve occasionally had a hand on my ass if it’s super crowded. If you ask me this totally puts them in the bully category, and bullies can also work in groups.
In Australia I’ve only seen men catcalling women while they are drinking, and yeah they were also not drinking alone. The catcalling also feels sillier or less serious somehow, perhaps because it’s obvious they’re being drunk and stupid.
YMMV.
Edit: also let me add, in the first example men catcall any woman. I think any woman between the ages of 12 and 60 is a good target for catcalling, as long as they’re not morbidly obese.
In the second example, only conventionally attractive women, often dressed somewhat suggestively, get catcalled.
I wasn’t really thinking about cultural differences in my comment. The friend in question is a conventionally attractive woman who lives in the USA.
That’s why I stay fat lol
As a man, that’s been my experience.
As a big burly (but cis) bloke who would be described as a “bear” in some circles, there’s nothing more fun than supporting my female friends then returning the “compliment” back to these men. It’s funny how quickly they find it repulsive and it can be quickly turned into a learning experience for them.
Women are simply objects in those situations. Something to be ogled at as they walk by. Men don’t care what those women think of them, they’re signaling to each other that they find that woman attractive.
The guy might have an internal monologue like “man, she’s hot!” and it escapes into the air as a way to feel like he’s making progress towards getting to sleep with her. I doubt the guys expect it to actually be effective.
I dunno. I’ve never done it and I’ve very rarely seen it in the wild.
The devil doesn’t need more advocates.
It’s basically bullying like you say. They enjoy the power they hold over a woman to be able to say degrading things about her without consequence.
A combination of the power of making them uncomfortable and a lack of empathy and viewing women as objects to be admired and not full people.
When I see people out exercising I often get the urge to yell that they are doing a good job or looking great if I see them working hard. But I never do.
I go for a thumbs up in that scenario.
I enjoy giving compliments to passing strangers because I know how much it means to me in the rare occasions that I have received one. Of course i’m very careful to not choose stress-inducing topics and not to time it when the subject would be stuck with me, e.g. an elevator.
I get to see so many smiles from recognizing cartoon characters on kids’ clothes, complimenting older guys on their bold hat choices, or someone’s colorful glasses frames.
The world needs more smiles!
I’m a cis man, so maybe take this with a grain of salt, but if I get encourement from a random person like this, I absolutely kick my effort up a notch and remember it for months-years.
I’d like think people might be able to tell the difference between “keep it up” or “you’re doing great” and a full on catcall, but I’ve never been catcalled so… ¯\(ツ)/¯
Why ? are you afraid it would be mistaken for catcalling ?
When is catcalling catcalling. Is asking someone out catcalling?
Is asking someone out on the street catcalling?I don’t think so, but I am no authority
Velma answered the question, but I also want to add that politely asking someone out is not cat calling. But Idk why you would ask someone out on the street. Context and place matters of course. If I am walking to the bus stop to go to work I really don’t like being asked out. I’m trying to get from point A to point B. I’m not really looking for a date, especially not from a street stranger. There is no built in safety net for women on a random street and a lot of women already have safety concerns walking alone in public. There is also a lack of prior consent to engage.
Whistles and calling out sexual things usually. Comments on a woman’s body, what they’d like to do to her, etc.
No one is asking for dates while they’re catcalling.
If someone said that to me I would probably assume it’s sarcasm
I’ve done it plenty of times.
I did it to encourage people to be in good shape, because it started with people doing it to me.
I also think it’s infantile behaviour, crowd/group mind psychology where they collectively act worse than the individual; IMHO the bully/cat caller gets pleasure in reaffirming their role within the group and will continue to do so unless somebody from the group itself strongly challenges them (complains, warns them, etc) or something else goes badly for them from bystanders intervening.
They pretty much don’t care about the response from the victim unless it’s “entertaining” and reenforces their clown act
Not a psych worker, just my 2c
BTW it reminds me of the phenomenon where a crowd freezes instead of helping an injured person, since there’s too many people and little “per capita” pressure to help a stranger in need
I agree.
I don’t think you realize they don’t care and don’t have that social respect normal people have.
Second option all the way. If they thought cat-calling could earn them a date they’d have realised empirically that it doesn’t
