I mean penis has obvious advantages, like piss-aim and not bleeding. Also looks funny. But what does the vagina have? Like seriously???
I mean penis has obvious advantages, like piss-aim and not bleeding. Also looks funny. But what does the vagina have? Like seriously???
As someone with a clitoris, sadly a (likely rather small) population of us still will never know. Mine seems to have come out nonfunctional from the factory. Sometimes I wish I could feel sexual pleasure like how a majority of the planet seems to.
As an enthusiast of stimulating clitorises, I’d like to remind you/mirroring readers that most of it isn’t the knobby part but (typically) spread throughout the lips and inner thighs, and that is often a more accessible/enjoyable way of stimuli.
In my practice I’ve found that clitoris havers enjoy different stimuli (for a myriad of reasons): deep massage, light tickling, pinching, scritches, pressure, heat, etc applied to lips, folds, thighs, around the opening, as well as the knob. I’ll argue it’s still clitoris stimuli, just better suited to that person’s anatomy and preferences.
And if that isn’t your experience, there are many other ways to stimulate a person and body. I wish you all the sensuality and orgasms you can handle, in whatever way works for you.
Thank you. That’s very kind of you, but I think if I wasn’t going to figure out anything at this point in my life that it’s just not going to happen. To describe things to people, I describe any sort of sensation that I feel in my crotch region as no different than if you were to touch your own elbow. You can touch or rub or lick or suck your elbow any which way you want, but it’s not going to feel at all pleasurable (I’m sure there are some people but that’s not really the point of my analogy).
It won’t necessarily feel uncomfortable, just won’t have any pleasure associated with it. If it’s so complicated that I can’t even figure out where to begin with finding even mild pleasure, then I don’t think there’s hope. It’s likely broken. Idk. I’m 32 btw.
Sexuality and sensuality can become complicated; the body plays a small part, but most of it is typically in the mind and mind-body interplay. There’s a reason the elbow-lickers can get off on it, and it’s not typically because their elbows are wired more sensitive.
Having sensation is proof that your physical parts work, but I hear you say that the connection to pleasure and your lust/sensuality is gone.
Luckily, that connection can be trained and/or rehabilitated (depending on cause of disconnect).
A major part of it is feeling safe, safe in your body, safe to feel pleasure, safe to play/explore, safe to find and act on what you enjoy. Anything from trauma, stress, depression/illness, self image, cultural pressures can make someone enter survival mode and block off enjoyment. Some are best treated by a professional, others might be addressed by simpler inner work, like setting intentional time for recreation, or making space/time/rituals for enjoyment, etc.
Part of feeling safe is also to not have undue pressures to perform or feel a certain way. Especially while rediscovering how you sense and process pleasure, you should give yourself the grace to enjoy yourself as you want. Maybe elbow stimuli is the only way available to you currently? Maybe the only way to silence the self judgment is with kink? Respect your journey, and that we all take different paths, as well as need different things along it. The goal is both to find yourself, but also to learn how to search.
Oh, and as to not misrepresent anything: Most of sexuality happens in the mind, and finding what turns you on and how is typically a life long pursuit as tastes and wonts will change and evolve with you. What happens and yearns in the body is typically in direct response to both fantasy, self image, intent, and your daily form. You will need to explore, discover and play what is sexy to you, as well as when and how.
Besides that, it’s also about training yourself to explore pleasure both physical and mental, how to dance with it, follow it, challenge it and to recover from either intensity or getting lost. Most of it is just finding how it works and feels, but you can definitely get better at both control and constitution with practice.
You have many years left to enjoy the pleasures of your own body, and I would argue pleasure is necessary for a well lived life. Perhaps looking up a sexologist or similar resource could be a worthwhile investment for a life with pleasure?
I’d like to recommend the book The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, it’s a very good book on the topic of how lust and pleasure happens in our minds and an interesting read. It’s not a substitute for therapy though, neither psychological or sexological.
Have you checked whether there’s still warranty coverage?
Vibrators?