Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. No way would a studio agree to do that much hand-crafted work. They’d just have the stars reacting to a bunch of tennis balls and “fix it in post.”

Electronic countertop scale for the kitchen. Start cooking by mass rather than trying to decide if that’s a half a cup packed or unpacked.

If you regularly store things in jars, a canning funnel. So much easier to pour sauces into jars without spillage.

Bone conduction headphones. Listen to music or talk on the phone hands-free while still leaving your ears open to what’s going on around you.

If you’ve got sore muscles, a percussive massage gun. It looks like a horse vibrator, but it does wonders on a sore back.

A warhammer. Don’t get a sword unless you are actually trained and know how to use and maintain it. A warhammer isn’t going to get bent, chipped, or rusty, and even if it does, it’s still a warhammer and will still smash things just fine. Don’t smash melons or coconuts unless you’re prepared for the biological mess that will get left behind; smash blocks of ice frozen inside of old yogurt tubs instead. Wear goggles.

“Plague.”

Might get stuck with a small payout.

“What are the winning numbers for the next lottery drawing with a payout of over $500 million?”

I still can’t get over how they stretched that short of a book over that long of a trilogy of movies and still managed to not show enough of Beorn. All of the party arriving at Beorn’s house is one of my favorite chapters and it’s just… not there. The. Fuck.