Just because the stereotype doesn’t quite fit your life doesn’t mean that there isn’t any help. Any psychotherapist or psychiatrist worth their salt would be just as capable of helping a man as they would be at helping a woman.

My wife went regularly to a therapist. At some point she convinced me to join, eventhough I thought I had no need for therapy… My wife is smart, she knew I would have use for therapy, and convinced me by asking whether I could join “to help her with her therapy.”

After very few sessions I realized that I definitely had some stuff to work through… And I can now say with certainty that going to therapy has been one of the best things I have done for myself and my wife.

There’s a lot of stigma around therapy, and especially couples therapy. Everyone we talked to immediately jumped to the conclusion that we had trouble in our marriage and that was why we went to therapy, even though that wasn’t the case. We quickly learned to say something like “oh, no no, it’s not because of each other. We go to therapy to learn to deal with the people who should actually be in therapy.” and that quickly shut people up.

People will probably have a similar stigma for your situation, because of the stereotype you mention. But it’s so worth it.

I would suggest starting some therapy yourself, but after a bit, try to invite your wife to join you. You can grow together.

Apparently a lot of couples where only one of them go to therapy end up splitting up… Because the person in the therapy grows, while the other is stagnant, it can lead to a lot of friction and frustration, to the point where one of them give up on the relationship.

Therefore I can only recommend going to therapy together. If you experience any stigma, talk to your therapist about it. They likely have some tricks up their sleeve you can use.

EDIT: Accidentally deleted an entire paragraph, which I have now rewritten.