God damnit! For the last time, my name is Allen, not Allah. You weren’t astral projecting, you were fucking wasted on zima, and we were on the last bus of the night. Also, you bastard, I started crying because you not only punched me in the kidney while I was trying to help you up, but somehow you got us both tossed from the bus and I had to walk home in the freezing rain with only one shoe because you had thrown the other in the river while we were waiting for the bus.